Obama's So-Called "Accomplishments"

Browsing around on DailyKos (thesis research, really), some diarist was screaming about Obama's legislative "accomplishments" and begging his fellow Kool-Aid drinkers to get the word out that, yes, Obama's done something other than just vote present (129 times) in his career as a public servant. The diarist then pointed elixir-imbibers to this blog entry, which has a long-winded list of the alleged accomplishments. It's a snorer - Obama doesn't win a prize for sexy legislative accomplishments. But has he just introduced a pile of bills, or has he gotten them passed? Let's take a look - from the top:

• Nonproliferation: So he worked with Lugar on nonproliferation. Admirable, but really, who's in favor of loose Russian nukes? I'd be impressed if he had proposed a bill establishing Alcoholics Anonymous chapters at all WMD-related military facilities in Russia - that'd be a big step forward. In reality, he just coauthored things with the nonproliferation Senator. Obama gets to look like he's playing with the big kids, Lugar gets to appear bipartisan.
• Avian Flu: Again, admirable. This is a public policy issue that I don't think we've talked enough about. All Democratic efforts on the issue can be found here. Obama's succeeded with two amendments that, combined, appropriate a whopping $50 million for international efforts. As successful amendments go, this one may be tough to defend - after all, foreign aid never sells well (obviously H5N1 should be an exception to that rule). He's also introduced the AVIAN Act (I swear there must be a government office devoted solely to filling out acronyms), which was read twice, referred to the Committee on Health, Education, Labor and Pensions (what was I saying about acronyms), and then came back to the floor where Obama made introductory remarks. Three times. A rousing success, that one. He also cosponsored an amendment (along with the rest of the Democratic leadership) that actually got a meaningful chunk of change, sent a letter to the HHS secretary about bird flu (again, with other Democrats - and HHS, clearly the Bureau of Acronyms was asleep on that one), and...yeah. That's it. On his own, $50 million and a bill that didn't go anywhere. Setting the bar pretty high here, Barack.
• Regulating Genetic Testing: Again, noble. Again, who's opposed to misdiagnosing Tay Sachs, Down Syndrome, or another equally tragic illness? Bold leadership, nonetheless. This time, our Savior/Messiah/Empty-Vessel-Onto-Which-We-Can-Project-Our-Dreams has introduced another visionary piece of legislation. The Genomics and Personalized Medicine Act of 2006 was introduced, referred to the Committee on Finance (why this isn't HELP's territory is absolutely beyond my sleep-deprived mind), and there languished till the end of Congress. One small step for man, one giant accomplishment for Obama? Note, too, that he didn't even have any cosponsors on this one. Yikes.
• Reducing Medical Malpractice: I read this, and all of a sudden thought that I might be crazy. Obama, taking on trial lawyers? Not to be - according to our intrepid blogger, who clearly has too much time on his hands (what does that say about me, taking the time to refute him), "medical malpractice claims do not do much to drive up health care costs." I think you could wiggle the Titanic through that, but that's another story. According to this fellow, all we've got to do is apologize (and presumably sing Kumbayah afterwards - Osama's invited and bringing punch). Obama and Hillary teamed up to introduce a bill "aimed at helping hospitals to develop programs for disclosure of medical errors." This particular bill, clearly touched by the geniuses of the Bureau of Acronyms and thus cleverly entitled the National Medical Error DIsclosure and Compensation Act (MEDiC Act), was read and referred to the HELP Committee. A day's work well done for our acronym allies. Again, beyond Hillary and Barack - no cosponsors.
• Tax Privacy: I don't want my tax-preparer selling my personal information, I doubt you do either. Thankfully Barack's here to help with his Protecting Taxpayer Privacy Act. He actually got cosponsors (eight of 'em, all Democrats) but this bill, too was simply referred to committee, never to see the light of day again.
• Chemical Plant Security: Again, admirable. Why we're not letting plant owners see to this themselves is questionable, but Barack's insistent that they don't care (or something). Obama's presser wasn't kind enough to provide a bill number, but a little bit of THOMAS (another acronym...) sleuthing dug up S.2486, the Chemical Safety and Security Act of 2006. Co-sponsors? 5 (not counting Obama and Lautenberg). Progress. None - but a new committee this time, Homeland Security (actually seems relevant to the bill at hand).
• Lead Paint: Stop the presses - the Messiah is against lead paint! I never would have guessed...he's must be taking money from the water-based paint industry under the table. What's he done here? Actually passed something! An amendment to an Interior Department (which has oversight of everything in the nation's interior - trees, corn, buffalo, trees) appropriations bill that, according to a third-party presser, "would help speed the creation of regulations to protect our nation's children from dangerous lead-paint poisoning." Good job, Barack! The EPA was nine years late with the regulations, but Barack's on the job. Amendment regarding lead paint? I think even Teddy Kennedy can be convinced to get out of his car (and put down his drink) long enough to vote for this. No word on whether Obama's crowning achievement thus far survived the conference committee wrangling that nearly all appropriations bills undergo...
• "Health Care for Hybrids:" This bold bill - with a House cosponsor! - would burden the government with part of Detroit's bloated pensions so long as Detroit promised to reinvest the saved money into hybrids. Sound stupid to you? The Senate thought so too - damn thing was consigned to committee. Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.
• Energy Security: The resource cannot be found. Seems fitting, right?
• Aid for Katrina Kids: "Dear Children: Since your parents didn't bother to get you out of Nola before Katrina wrecked your city (a marvel of engineering seeing as it is underwater and all), they'll get a tax credit to be just as responsible next time! Love, Barack." Hate me, if you wish. I won't even bother plugging Child Tax Credit extension into THOMAS, so I can't inform you whether this, too, is one of Barack's (actually completed) "accomplishments." This generous amendment was tacked onto a "$70 billion bill laden with tax cuts for the wealthy and well-connected" - since when are those of us with fat Outlook contact files being lumped in with those of us with fat wallets? Senator, I'm sure a lot of high-priced escorts are "well-connected," but I'm not sure if they qualify as wealthy. Empty rhetoric aside (why does this seem familiar?), the unfortunate truth of the matter is that tax cuts for the poor don't work. They don't spend more, thus defeating the aim of tax cuts in the first place (confronted with this rhetoric, we thus hear "well let's raise taxes and see what happens!")
• No-bid contracts for FEMA: Fourth time may be the charm, according to The Hill. No word from the compiling blogger as to whether it was the charm - were they being sloppy or merely omitting the sad truth that this too didn't work? And this is a bit incongruous when contrasted with the previous item - Obama wanted cleanup and reconstruction to happen quickly, no? A lengthy, bureaucratic bidding process would throw a jar of molasses and a monkey wrench into the process, no? Barack, buddy, you can have your cake or you can eat it - the federal government could be timely or it could be cheap. Odds are it won't be either, but it certainly can't be both.
• More FEMA/Katrina-related legislation!: All sorts of good ideas - for what that's worth. Also, an acronym-tastic title: the "Oversight of Vital Emergency Recovery Spending Enhancement and Enforcement" (OVERSEE) Act. This one, cosponsored with a Republican (how can any Democrate dare vote for this evil man?!), actually made it as far as the Senate's Legislative Calendar. Slowly, slowly getting there - there being an actual accomplishment.
  
• Coburn-Obama Spending Database: It passed! It's happened! It's out there somewhere, and the one time I tried to use it, I became hopelessly lost! Still, it's out there! ACCOMPLISHMENT!
• Hiking CAFE Standards: The Fuel Economy Reform Act - read twice, referred to committee. Nice try buddy. Even had eight cosponsors!
• Health Care for Veterans: Well-meaning, no doubt. And I, for one, think that we cannot do enough for those who have risked life and limb for our country. No doubt much of the Senate agreed in principle with the Lane Evans Health Care Benefits Improvement Act (using proper nouns precludes fun acronyms), but in reality they apparently had issue - condemned to committee, and briefly released for introductory remarks. Honestly: if you have the choice between Obama mouthing pretty-sounding platitudes on the Senate floor or Bob Byrd ranting incoherently and drooling on himself in his dotage, which would you pick? I can't stand him and I'd still go for the platitudes.
• Banning "certain kinds" of voter intimidation: Because only the kinds Republicans use are bad. He wrote a bill, the "Deceptive Practices and Voter Intimidation Prevention Act of 2005" - and it soon found itself languishing in committee.
  
• Lobbying Reform: Page not found. Maybe he thought Mark Foley was the love of his life? What intrigues me is the brief description provided by our intrepid glosser (nevermind Barack's done nothing, A for effort!): "requiring that bills be made available to members of Congress at least 72 hours before they have to vote on them." Like the time Dick Durbin derided Jim DeMint for not having read the 3,417 page, $554.7 billion (34 pound!) omnibus bill in the 46 hours since its publication, saying “I would just say to the Senator from South Carolina: Welcome to the world of the Internet. This bill has been posted since 12:15 a.m. Monday morning on the Internet for your perusal ... You have had your chance. Every Senator has had a chance.” Which of course suggests that Durbin, Dick is a phenomenal speed-reader - to read that behemoth in the time allotted, "the Durbin Speed Reading standard required senators to read and comprehend 1.25 pages per minute, non-stop, for 2,768 minutes." I feel like I have the two stooges representing Illinois - no doubt their mother had a late-term abortion for the third.
• A proposal revamping ethics oversight: Again, sounds nice. But did it get anywhere? No clue. Any guesses?

I'll admit, the post I'm lambasting here was written on October 24th, 2006. So it's entirely plausible that Obama might have done something in the intervening 14 months. But since he's been running for president since kindergarten, I'm disinclined to believe such a proposition. And what of this lot? Three amendments and a succesfully passed earmark transparency program. That's a presidential resume, all right.

And in sympathy for the rest of his legislation, languishing somewhere in the Senate Office Buildings (their House counterparts are referred to as HOBs...Senate buildings aren't thusly abbreviated), I'm indulging a trip down memory lane to 4th grade social studies:

G'night, folks.